


Forget Yourself

by Watabi12



Category: Victoria (TV)
Genre: Begging, Bondage, Dom/sub Undertones, F/M, Fluff, Possessive Behavior, Spanking, Vicbourne
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-25
Updated: 2016-09-25
Packaged: 2018-08-17 08:25:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8137178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Watabi12/pseuds/Watabi12
Summary: Victoria sees a different side to Lord M.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This took longer than I thought it would. Sorry. I hope you like it. Thanks to Jules for proofing. Hope you all have a great week!

Victoria gazed at her feet with a solemn expression as she waited. She was not accustomed to Lord Melbourne, or rather anyone, keeping her waiting. She pondered as to what could have captivated Lord Melbourne’s attention that was more significant than her own needs.

‘Your Majesty,’ the servant coughed.

Victoria glanced upwards in order to be met with a maid, an old looking women with a dull sense of style. ‘Where is Lord M? I am right in assuming that he is following you?’ Victoria pouted impatiently.

‘No, Ma’am,’ the servant swallowed. ‘Lord Melbourne is predisposed. He urges you to return to Buckingham and he will address you this evening for dinner.’

‘No. That will most certainly not do. Tell Lord M that I will not be ignored. I do not care if he is completely indecent. If he does not come out in five minutes, I will simply approach him unannounced.’

‘Yes, Ma’am,’ the servant nodded. On her own, hidden from prying eyes of the palace, Victoria crossed her arms in fury. What could Lord Melbourne possibly be doing that was a higher priority than her? Victoria stood and gazed at the collection of paintings that decorated Lord Melbourne hallway. Her fingers clasped around her forearm in agitation.

This would not do. Victoria sighed through her nostrils and began to march down the corridor. The servant was coming towards her from the opposite end.

‘Where is he?’ Victoria demanded.

‘Ma’am, with the greatest of respects – he is not -,’ the servant stammered.

‘I am the Queen of England. If I wished to be ordered around then I would speak to my mother,’ Victoria fumed. ‘I shall do you the courtesy of asking again. Where is Lord Melbourne?’

‘Up the stairs, Ma’am. Second room to the right. But I must insist -,’ the servant replied.

‘Thank you,’ Victoria interrupted. ‘I no longer need your assistance.’ Victoria ran up the stairs and along the corridor. Suddenly she faltered outside a door when she heard noises. Strange noises that she had never heard before. She swallowed and held her breathe as she listened.

‘ _Master Melbourne_ -,’ a familiar voice cried out.

Victoria crept forward, feeling her lungs flap in her chest and her heart beat. She silently nudged the door open and bent over to peer through the gap. She couldn’t hold back a gasp at what she beheld.

‘Lady Emma,’ Lord Melbourne crooned. ‘Does this satisfy you?’ Lord Melbourne’s appearance was wild, like a hero from a Bronte novel – stern expression, unkept hair and improper attire. Victoria’s eyes traced over Lord Melbourne’s bear arms and legs, the muscles that tightened in his back as his shoulder lifted. She blinked when she found her vision settling on his bottom, still in cased within the fabric of his undergarments.

Lady Emma let out a shrill cry as Lord Melbourne’s belt hit her skin. He had the leather wrapped around his hand, the buckle blanketed in his palm, with his other hand pressing her body down against the desk that she was bent over. Victoria grimaced and stood up straight, wary of the images that she had been privy to. There was only one resolve; she must leave immediately.

‘I know you,’ Victoria heard Lord Melbourne purr. ‘You speak like a Lady but you fuck like a whore.’

Victoria clenched her jaw and stormed down the hallway, moving even faster back down the stairs. The servant was waiting by the foot of the stair, with her hands clasped behind her back.

‘Your Majesty -,’ she started.

‘Tell Lord Melbourne that I will not accept him for supper tonight. He may write to me this evening but I do not wish to see him on the palace grounds. I would like my carriage.’

‘Yes, Ma’am,’ the servant nodded.

Victoria rushed into the entranceway and out of the doors. How insufferable! How could he? How could someone she held so precious to her stand against everything she held most dear. Virtue. Monogamy. Loyalty. Chasity. The thought of having Lord Melbourne within a hundred miles of Buckingham filled her with fury.

Victoria watched the scenery pass by the window of her carriage. She retired to her room without much thought for anybody else. She had no pressing appointments. She heard the pitter-patter of tiny feet behind her as she flung the door open to her apartments. Her lips curved in comfort.

‘Dash!’ she sang. She turned around to find her best friend lovingly gazing up at her. Victoria bent down, her wide skirt covering her feet and laughed as the dog jumped up to lick her nose. She scooped him up and brought him into her sleeping quarters. The small animal happily rested with her on her bed. She lay next to him, her fingers absently stroking the curly fur of his long ears.

‘Dash, can you believe that Lord M would forsake me like this? And that Lady Emma is such a women of ill repute.’ Dash’s dopey eyes stared up at her. She sighed as the dog started to open and close his eyelids. ‘What a splendid idea, Dash,’ Victoria whispered, feeling the weight of her emotion heavy on her body. Her eyes dipped closed as she lay there; Dash curled around her hand.

****

Victoria reawakened to find Miss Skerett standing beside her bed, urging her awake.

‘I apologise for the intrusion, Your Majesty. But Lord Melbourne is downstairs and he is refusing to leave until you have seen him.’

Insufferable. ‘You may tell Lord M that if he waits then he may come when I send Dash down to get him.’

‘Yes, Ma’am,’ Miss Skerett curtsied.

Victoria stretched out her arms and Dash yawned. ‘Lord M has to explain himself to us, I think. Shall we see him Dash?’ Victoria pondered. She raised herself from her bed and judged herself in the mirror. Her hair was slightly out of place. She grimaced and rubbed her eyes. ‘Will you go and fetch him for me, Dash? We can’t have him wreaking terror downstairs now, can we?’

Victoria picked the spaniel up and opened the door. She carried him along the corridor and set him down at the top of the stairs. She watched him hop down, a step at a time. She headed into the drawing room and sat down on the chair to the right, waiting patiently for Lord Melbourne to enter. Victoria rang for tea and watched as the servant carried in a tray. The servant poured and placed the china on the table.

‘Thank you,’ Victoria smiled. The servant left as silently as they entered. Victoria was seething with anger. She did not know how to even meet Lord Melbourne’s eye. The man that she had let into her heart so easily – such a betrayal! There was a sharp knock.

‘Enter,’ Victoria called. She reached for her tea and sipped it as Lord Melbourne paced through the doors.

‘Your Majesty,’ Lord Melbourne started.

Victoria did not stand up to greet him. She simply continued sipping at her tea. When he spoke she offered a stern glare that suspended his tongue. She swallowed slowly, before placing the tea back onto the table. ‘You may be seated,’ she whispered icily.

‘Please let me offer my deepest apologies,’ Lord Melbourne croaked.

‘I do not accept them,’ Victoria snapped. ‘I am not sure that I ought to even accept you. How could you, Lord M? All the values that I hold dear? Do they mean so little to you? Lady Emma is married!’

‘Ma’am, I am appalled that you were privy to that. But if I had known -,’ Lord Melbourne struggled.

‘That is your only defence? That I should not have been there to see it,’ Victoria huffed. She rose in derision and made her way to glance out of the window. Lord Melbourne mirrored her motions and followed her. ‘Do you know how many people warned me against you? Against all their better judgements, I chose to believe that you couldn’t possibly be as unashamed as they all suggested. I can see now that I was wrong about you.’

‘Are you angry because of my actions, ma’am? Or are you angry because you wished my attentions were solely focussed on you,’ Lord Melbourne teased.

‘You are insufferable,’ Victoria hissed.

Lord Melbourne laughed and crept closer, as if he was winding an invisible string that paired them together; reeling her in – inch by inch. His head lingered at her ear and she felt his breathe caress her neck. ‘I don’t think you mean that at all,’ he whispered.

Victoria turned to face him, their faces so close that both of them were unable to break eye contact. ‘Do not presume to know my thoughts,’ Victoria snapped back.

‘Then tell me,’ Lord Melbourne breathed.

Victoria fell silent. Suddenly, her eyes dropped to meet her feet and her hands fiddled with her skirt. She opened her mouth and then promptly shut it again, before looking up and gazing at him earnestly. ‘What you were doing – do you – does Lady Emma – find that _pleasurable_?’ Victoria questioned.

She turned her back again, her eyes spanning over the grounds. She could not let him read her; she was hot with wonder and embarrassment. ‘I am so ill aquatinted with such information.’

‘As any lady of your position and age ought to be, Ma’am. In answer to your question, for my part – I can say with great certainty it is. I can only assume that Lady Emma agrees, Ma’am. I do not keep her there against her will; she enters into it as willingly as I do. I believe her husband is not as equipped in such ways as I am.’

‘Not all men know about it?’ Victoria asked, confused at what Lord Melbourne was referring to.

Lord Melbourne laughed throatily.

‘I confess that most men probably are aware, Ma’am. Whether it should flavour their desires is entirely different.’

‘Well, how does one know?’ Victoria exhaled.

‘Turn around,’ Lord Melbourne ordered softly. ‘Let me see you.’

Victoria turned slowly, her heart throbbing in her chest. She felt as though Lord Melbourne was seeing her for the very first time. ‘You once told me that you were speaking to me as a women and not a queen. May I be permitted to speak to you as a man? Not your advisor nor your Prime Minister. Neither two of us different to anyone else in the world.’

‘You wish for us to reveal ourselves on terms of equality, Lord M?’

‘Ma’am, we may never have a long and happy life together,’ Lord Melbourne swallowed harshly as he spoke.

‘Don’t say that,’ Victoria objected.

‘You know that it is true. However, in this moment, we can pretend that we are as ordinary as anybody else.’

Victoria stepped forward shyly. ‘I would very much like to kiss you,’ Victoria whispered.

‘Ma’am,’ Lord Melbourne replied quietly. ‘If you are going to risk your reputation then please let the intrigue be all mine.’ Lord Melbourne paced forward until he was close enough to take Victoria’s face into his hands. ‘I wish things were very much not as they are, Ma’am. I wish for you to know that.’ Lord Melbourne leant forward until Victoria could feel his breath against her neck.

Her eyes drooped shut as she felt him kiss her – slow and agonising; she opened her mouth to let him in but he did not cross the threshold. She did not opened her eyes – she couldn’t bear to awaken from the moment at her fingertips.

‘ _Please_ ,’ she mouthed. Lord Melbourne took her again, his mouth exploring hers and his fingers running through her chocolate strands; gripping onto her. Victoria grew breathless. For the first time in her whole entire life she felt like a women; not a child nor a monarch but a person in a Keats poem or an Austen novel. Victoria wanted nothing more than the man standing in front of her.

She felt him running through her blood – on her skin; sinking into the depths of her soul.

‘I think I -,’ Victoria started.

‘I know,’ Lord Melbourne sighed. ‘I think that I may reciprocate.’

‘How should we manage?’ Victoria grimaced.

‘With a brave heart and clear head. Please do not muddy this – what we have here right now – with reality. I beg of you, Ma’am,’ Lord Melbourne sighed.

‘I would do anything you wished of me, Lord M,’ Victoria smiled.

Lord Melbourne joint their lips again; different this time, less bashful and more passionate – as if she was limited and would soon disappear so he must drink her in excessively.

‘What you witnessed at Dover,’ Lord Melbourne coughed as he pulled away.

‘Yes?’ Victoria floated.

Lord Melbourne’s lips sloped over Victoria’s collarbone. Victoria stepped back until she felt her feet make contact with the wall. Lord Melbourne followed her – his lips travelling to grace her neck, brushing over her skin delicately. Victoria shivered at the sensation, feeling her bones melt under his caress.

‘Did it excite you?’

‘I – I don’t know,’ Victoria wheezed. She thought about the leather wrapped around Lord Melbourne’s hand. His power and his want. ‘Will you – will you show me?’

‘Are you sure this is what you want, Victoria?’ Lord Melbourne smiled.

‘Quite sure, William,’ Victoria smirked back.

‘Will you do as I say?’ Lord Melbourne questioned with a hint of humour behind his words.

‘Within my limits; yes,’ Victoria nodded.

‘Then come and stand over here,’ Lord Melbourne ordered. He walked towards the desk. Victoria followed him.

‘Would you lay on the desk?’ Lord Melbourne prompted.

Victoria stepped forward, breathing sloppily as she pressed herself down onto the desk. Her body heaved with the strain of her tight clothing. She gasped and immediately stood up. ‘Are you quite alright, mam?’ Lord Melbourne asked, reaching out to hold onto her wrist and shoulder.

‘Yes. I – can’t bend like that in day attire. Perhaps you would – assist me?’ Victoria smirked. She turned around, waiting expectantly for Lord Melbourne to free her body of its restraints. Lord Melbourne’s fingers laced over the buttons on her dress.

‘Are you sure?’ He whispered.

‘Quite,’ Victoria reassured.

Lord Melbourne bent down to press his head against her neck. ‘Victoria,’ he whispered. She closed her eyes, tightening her fingers against the edge of the desk. He stepped back and started to unbutton her gently. Each button that he unclipped released something inside herself as though she was ever verging closer to truths that she had not known.

Lord Melbourne watched as her dress fell to her feet. His fingers traced over the curves of her form and she shivered as his fingertips trailed into the dip of her body. He tugged at her skirt and then her petticoats - drawing Victoria out with every approaching second. She could feel her body come alive with want for the man undressing her.

He quietly worked at her corset – inch by inch; thread by thread until he felt her whole body release against the weight of society’s expectations.

‘You’re beautiful,’ he mouthed into her skin. His hands ventured down to the inside of her thigh, causing her to gasp loudly.

‘ _Lord M_ ,’ she murmured.

His fingers began to pull down her underwear. ‘These too.’ He dragged them down her legs slowly and she stepped out of everything, shuffling her clothing to the side. ‘Lay down,’ he commanded.

Victoria obeyed; pressing herself against the desk once more – she scrunched her eyes up tight and let the tension in her body pass. Her heart beat frantically and she tried to calm herself down. She was the Queen – she should know much about steadying herself but in the hands of the man she had wanted and pined for: her nerves suffered.

‘Will it be painful?’ Victoria swallowed, already feeling as though she knew the answer.

‘Only slightly. I’ll be gentle, I promise,’ Lord Melbourne smiled.

Victoria nodded to herself. She thought about if someone should interrupt and find them like this as she had with Lady Emma. _They must make haste_. Besides, anymore waiting would be agonising beyond all feeling.

‘Proceed,’ Victoria demanded.

Lord Melbourne chuckled. ‘Eager, are we?’ Lord Melbourne ran his fingers along the length of her spine, feeling Victoria shiver with sensation. ‘I could keep you here all afternoon if I wanted.’ Victoria felt her stomach fill with butterflies. ‘Tell me you want this; tell me you are needy for me.’

‘Yes, I do. I need you,’ Victoria admitted.

‘Beg,’ Lord Melbourne demanded.

‘Please, Lord M. _Please_. Please oblige me,’ Victoria pleaded.

‘Going to be good for me?’

‘Yes,’ Victoria hissed.

‘Don’t forget that I can halt at any time. You simply have to tell me.’

‘Thank you,’ she gulped.

‘I will use my hand to begin with,’ Lord M told her. ‘Are you ready?’

‘Yes,’ Victoria replied. Her whole body was on the edge of a precipice.

Lord Melbourne lifted up her shift to reveal her bottom. He stepped back to grace himself with the view. He reached out to touch her, his hand cupping her cheek tightly. Victoria muffled her heavy breathing, stubbornly not wanting to let him know that he had won. He took his hand away. He stood firmly and swung his hand back before connecting it to her skin. Victoria let out a shrill cry, feeling her body vibrate. Lord Melbourne repeated the action.

Victoria found that it was not anything like what she had imagined. It did not hurt half as much as she had expected and it was even something akin to _pleasurable_. He thrashed her one last time with his hand. Victoria heard him fiddling with his belt and grew nervously hot at the prospect.

‘I shall use my belt now.’ Victoria nodded at the statement. ‘Are you quite well, Ma’am?’

‘Yes,’ Victoria answered. ‘Please continue.’

Lord Melbourne pulled the belt out from his breaches and wrapped it around his hand. He pressed his crotch into her arse. She lifted her head up in confusion.

‘What’s that?’

‘That is my – intimate area, love.’

‘Why is it – _solid_?’ Victoria asked.

‘It’s an occurrence that happens when a man is aroused,’ Lord Melbourne laughed.

‘Oh,’ Victoria sighed. Then the realisation dawned on her that Lord Melbourne was excited by her. ‘ _Oh_ ,’ she repeated, with a shallow breath.

‘Precisely.’ Lord Melbourne brushed the leather against her flesh. ‘I want you. I want you every time I see you.’ His voice thinned to a hush as he pressed against her to speak into shoulder. ‘I think about what it would be like to kiss you, to make memories with you, to wake up with you in the mornings and set your world alight.’

‘Lord M, I cannot bear it. Proceed,’ Victoria cried.

‘As you wish.’ Lord Melbourne wasted no time in bringing the leather strap to her bottom. She dug her teeth into her bottom lip in an attempt to keep from screaming out. He struck her again. Her skin turning crimson from the blows. He hit her five times, all the while she composed herself against her bodily reactions.

Lord Melbourne halted and Victoria lifted her head. Her blood pumped through her veins; Lord Melbourne had smothered all of her senses until she was powerless against him.

‘Lord M, are you quite alright?’ Victoria called back to him.

‘Yes, ma’am. I simply believe that we ought to draw this to a close, ma’am. You must be getting sore and tired?’

‘Well, if you insist,’ Victoria sighed. 

‘Here, ma’am,’ Lord Melbourne offered. He hoisted up from the desk and onto her feet.

Victoria ached all over. ‘Perhaps I should have a lay down after all.’

‘Allow me,’ Lord Melbourne smiled. Lord Melbourne peered out of the doorway. He crept to her bedroom, enclosed in his arms. He lowered Victoria from his gentle arms and placed her on the bed.

‘You will lay with me, won’t you?’ Victoria demanded.

‘Ma’am – I feel as though I have already -,’ Lord Melbourne tried to excuse himself.

‘Lord Melbourne – I am the Queen of England,’ Victoria reminded him. ‘If I should require your advice then I should ask for it. I am telling you to lay with me.’

‘Very well, ma’am. But only because you asked me so politely,’ Lord Melbourne teased.

‘Oh, do be quiet,’ Victoria laughed.

Victoria shuffled over and Lord Melbourne laid beside her. She allowed herself to mould her body around his; her head resting on his chest as his arms slope around her shoulders. She had never felt so at peace since she had been introduced to the man that had stolen her heart. She wanted to tell him. She could feel the words heavy on her tongue as though they were forcing their way out of her body; her heart was relentless.

Lord Melbourne kissed her head and her heart lightly. ‘Can’t we stay like this forever?’ Victoria mumbled.

‘I regret not, ma’am.’

‘I believe - ,’ Victoria hushed. ‘I’m very much in love with you.’ She stared up at him and caught his broken smile. His hand shifted to stroke through her hair.

‘I know, ma’am. If I were an eligible man; if this life was not as it is – in another life, I would hold no hesitation in telling you that I believe myself very much in love with you.’

‘Must we ever awaken?’ Victoria sobbed. ‘Today has been like a dream.’

****

Victoria felt a strange sensation within her hand. She quickly sat up to find Dash licking at her hand. She gazed around her bedroom. It was empty. Dash was the only sign of life, except from herself. She stretched, her eyes still heavy with sleep. She glanced out of the window – the day was dying; she felt a deep sense of loss fill her soul. Her cheeks were damp with invisible tears. The daytime was not the only thing that could not stay forever.


End file.
